I Eat Snowman Poop

Who Missed me?

2012-01-29T10:26:00.000-08:00

I decided it's time to come back to the blog. I miss it. Check back. I really don't have anything interesting to post about but that's really never stopped me before.

You really haven't missed much. Here's the jist of it...

The mini me is almost 4 now. And when I say mini me... I mean mini me. Full temper and all. I'm definately paying for my rasing as they say.

I haven't slept past nine in 3 years. I'm a bad kind of tired.

I've watched more Barney and Thomas and Sponge Bob than I care to think about.

I have found out who my real friends are and to hell with the rest.

I just turned 29 and have more gray hair than should be legal. In need of a dye job bad. Wes was nice enough to point out that I now have a gray stripe. Punch him in the face.

I discovered the wonders of coupons. Don't make fun. I'm loving the free/cheap stuff. I had forgotten what good laundry detergent smelled like.

Wes lost his job in December. Which has been a bitch and a half let me tell you.

Tornadoes tore Alabama to hell in April. Then last week another round got the town close to us.

We have a 1979 Astroids Arcade Machine....it works! Be jealous because we got it for free.

We have had very little winter. No snow and the average temp has been somewhere around 50-60. I heart that.

I just got a swiffer vac and I can't live without it. My floor is the cleanest it's ever been.

Last March I had a kidney stone. That had to be the worst pain I have ever felt. Holy shit. The best way to describe it was the movie Aliens... specifically this part...

I'll leave you with that image.

Admit it... you missed me.

Helping Hackleburg

2011-05-10T10:57:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to visit Hackleburg and help with clean up. Once you cross into the city limits it's like crossing into another country... another dimension. Almost Twilight Zone. There are only 4 building in the whole entire town that will be able to be saved after the tornado passed through. The rest are leveled or close to it. There was not one tree left in the town which is very weird for Alabama. Trees are everywhere. Now just toothpicks. It looks like a war zone, like a bomb was dropped in the middle of town. The tornado was a mile and a half wide and riding down the 4 lane with nothing but open on both sides looking at all the trees on the ground you really get the feel for how big that really was. Every building has the familiar neon orange "Katrina X" as I kept hearing it called. Even houses that had been completely leveled had them on a piece of tin (from the Wrangler plant no doubt) zip tied to a piece of wood. After Katrina I learned to read them. I wish now I hadn't. Each house and business just by looking you can tell the number people that died inside those places. Died in their "safe places", where you are supposed to be able to make it through a tornado.

I only took 4 pictures while I was there because I just didn't feel right taking pictures of another person's anguish.

I'm only going to post this one. It is (was) the Wrangler Jeans plant. This picture doesn't quite paint the whole picture. It looks like an 80 ft tall scrap heap. There are jeans all over town and pieces of the roof. Large sheets of tin balled up like aluminum foil. If there are people inside this building I don't see that they will ever be able to find them. Wrangler has said they don't know if they are going to rebuild here. That is the main place that people work. What will they do without it later on?

What struck me was the things you don't hear that you don't realize you are used to hearing. You don't hear the hum of the power lines because there are none. Therefore there are no ac units running. I didn't see not one dog or cat or animal. You don't hear birds. In fact I saw several dead birds laying around. Another thing I didn't hear was crying. It seemed that everyone had accepted the reality of the situation and were in work mode. All you can hear is the sound of cars, people talking and the occasional bob cat running in the background. The air is chunky with insulation (and asbestos) flying around. The smells are a mix of downed fresh pine trees, sewage and the a faint aroma of the grocery store that was leveled with food inside. That is now rotting.

The roads are mostly one lane because of the debris (seems harsh to call it debris because these are what's left of people's homes) covering most of the roads. Although I have heard most of that has been cleared as of today.

The day started early and after 2 and a half hours we arrived at our meeting place in Hamilton and were given our mission of finding people in the outlying areas (middle of absolutely no where) that needed supplies. None of us were from this area and maps were not given and cell phones don't work there. (They didn't work before the storms. It's that far out.) It was a total waste of time. These were places where small tornadoes dropped and hit one or 2 houses and then went back up. It would be like your neighbor's house getting taken out and you not going to check on them. 10 days later they have no home but they are being cared for by neighbors and family. Their immediate needs have been met. There are volunteers all over town stopping to pass out waters and snacks to locals and volunteers. Some of the people helping aren't from here and are not used to the humidity and heat, they especially need to drink plenty of water. I didn't really meet anyone that didn't seem to really want to help in some way.

Nana, her sister and her husband even found a job for them. Passing out hot dogs and hamburgers to anyone who wanted them with a man and a woman from Reform. They fed all the state troopers and volunteers that came by. Great job for them since they can't do clean up or lift heavy boxes of supplies. We stopped and I ate a hamburger. I didn't want it and barely even tasted it but I knew that I needed to eat to be able to continue.

So after 4 hours of getting no where we headed into Hackleburg. We stopped at a house up on a hill just behind the Wrangler plant where the owners were working and asked if we could help. We spent several hours picking up what used to be a beautiful home. You could tell from the pieces of hardwood flooring and tile. As we worked we were told the woman's story. Her husband had just died of cancer on the first. They owned 2 businesses in town plus the home. All were destroyed. This woman had lost everything in her whole world all at the same time. I can't begin to imagine her pain.

Up by the house the smell was horrible, sewage I suppose. But I hardly noticed. My mind was other places. As I sifted through the last remaining pieces of this woman's life, it seemed selfish to comment on it. I also realized a time or 2 that I had stopped working. I didn't know I had stopped or for how long. It might have been only a second or two or could have been a few minutes. I snapped back realizing I was just looking around kinda glassy eyed. Taking it all in. After I became aware that I was doing it, I noticed lots of people doing the same thing. Snapping back and getting back to work.

Up by the house, we found pictures, dishes that had been spared and even a ceramic egg from an Easter decoration that was intact all intertwined with blue jeans and pieces of metal from the plant. Although the entire house was gone except the sub-floor and basement, there were 2 potted plants that were untouched.

But this woman was not bitter or why me. She seemed to have accepted that this was life now or was still in such shock she wasn't processing it at all. She only choked up one time and that was because when they had first built their home in 1968 they had written their name on a rock on the foundation. We were unable to find it. You could just tell that at that moment she was broken. We hunted and hunted trying to find that rock but were just unable. I would have given anything to find it for her.

Finally it was time for us to head back home since the drive was so long. I plan on returning to help with the efforts as often as I can afford the gas to go. These people will need it for months. It feels good to be a part of the clean up. Although not in a pat myself on the back kind of way. It was by far the most sobering experience of my whole life. However I was not outwardly emotional. I kept it together the whole time I was there and the way back. I didn't think it would help anything. But I felt very somber the whole time. I didn't actually break down until I was trying to recall the events of the day and all the things I had seen back to Wes.

I have thought about my time there a lot this week. There are some things you just can't unsee.

It Was Like a Movie

2011-05-04T15:39:00.000-07:00

I've sat here at this same computer in this same chair over the past week trying to tell you the story of April 27, 2011 and the words would just not come. Tears but no words. I think finally after a week, I am now able to tell you. Please excuse any rambling because my mind is in a million places at once as I write.

During the wee morning hours of Wednesday, April 27th, I like many people was sleeping. Others however were in their "place of safety" as tornados demoished their homes and lives forever. I selfishly awoke to find my power out and grumbled to myself about not being able to fix my hair. I had no idea what had just happened.

Due to the impending weather, many schools and places of business were closed. Others closed by lunch including Aidan's daycare. The sun was shining and the wind was blowing. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then at 2.00, my favorite weather man James Spann appeared on the TV. This man and his team deserve metals, trophies, or a parade or something for their coverage of the day's events. (More on that later.) He was saying in West Alabama where we get the worse weather straight out of Mississippi, a tornadic storm was starting. He said although the National Weather Service had not yet issued a warning, he felt that any person in that area should retreat to their "safe place". This phrase is all too familiar to our state, a room in the center of the home on the ground floor or a basement or better yet a storm shelter. About 20 minutes later, the National Weather Service issued the first warning of the afternoon. And they kept coming.

I urge you to watch this video before reading any further. It is about 13 minutes long. (You can actually start watching at 7 minutes in. Mute your speakers if you are at work.) I have never seen anything like this in my life and have heard tornados pass over my house before. This kind of anger and fury is what ripped through our state and our lives forever. If you watch it looks like a live being with a mind of its own. Hellbent on death and distruction. This particular tornado is an F-5 (the worst on the scale) and is over a mile and a half wide and traveled on the ground 202 miles. Top wind speeds were 210 MPH. The first time I watched this video I felt like I was going to vomit and realized I was visibly shaking. This tornado formed a debris ball that picked stuff up all the way from Tuscaloosa (T-Town as it's known here) and threw it hunderds of miles away. I found pieces of paper and tin and shingles in my yard over 150-200 miles away. It looked like the sky was falling. I have never seen anything like that in my life. I was terrified. It truely was something straight out of Hollywood only the destruction left behind was not planned and the blood that was spilled was not ketchup.

During the coarse of the day, I, like many (who still had power anyway), was glued to my tv watching numberous other tornados of the same magnitude from various places around the state on live tv as the news storm spotters and sky cams streamed their live video. By the end the of the afternoon, I was numb. But it was far from over.

Luckily all the storms had missed us except for one that was 30 miles away and headed straight for us. The sky was green. The most eeire site in the world. And it was hot. VERY hot. Any Alabamian knows that tornados love heat and humidity. I estimate that it was 85 - 90 degrees with 120% humidity, but I am no expert. After what I had seen earlier in the day it was like impending doom. I gathered pillows and blankets and Aidan and took them to our safe place. And just when it started to rain (rain is usually on the outer portion of a tornado.) it hit the mountain and turned and went the other way. Thank God. Many people were killed during this storm that went through Argo. We didn't know it at the time but a guy that Wes works with house was totally demolished by that storm and all his family injured. They lost everything and almost their lives. He had a broken arm that required plates and pins to repair. Every spot on his face has a mark. His back looks like it was chewed by some wild animal. His grandfather had to have his arm amputated. His 3 year old has staples all over his body, a neck brace, and a leg cast all the way up to the hip. But they all survived. Some where not that lucky.

During this past week I have heard stories of great inspiration and great sadness as I am told of people being buried in their homes or being sucked into the tornados. Pieces of bodies being found, pieces of peoples homes and lives scattered miles away. Tales of people being found alive days after under the rubble although after a week those tales are few and far between.

The mayor of a town I had never heard of in West Alabama called Hackleburg called in to the newscast and said that they had no idea how to find people or even begin to count the number of people dead because there was NOT ONE SINGLE building in the town of 1500 left standing. Not one. The images from this time look like another country. A war zone. Houses leveled everywhere you look.

Bits of these newscast are availale on you tube to those who wish to watch. James Spann and his team saved many lives that day on ABC 33/40. They are quick to down play their role but for a long time now they have had a commitment to stay on the air if any active tornado warnings are within the Birmingham DMA. You can not go through a storm without James Spann on television. I know to me, he is a comfort. At one point on Wednesday he said don't worry, We will get though this together. He's not a televison personality. He is a scientist. He knows his weather that is for sure. He is the only person I trust to keep my family safe. They should be nationally recognized for their efforts this week. And their help doesn't end there. They have been actively helping in the clean up and spreading the needs through facebook and twitter. Search #wearealabama on twitter to see.

Yesterday our Govenor put it best when he said (paraphrased) these storms killed many people regaurdless of nationality, race, sex, or income level. This is Alabama's Katrina. I have heard reports that the damage will be the same more than Katrina. However there are no national telethons or many celebrities begging for you to give. We feel abandoned. Randomly a student from UA tweeted Charlie Sheen and asked him to come and he did along with $1 million. Plus he started a website torpedosfortornados.com where you can donate to the relief. I was shocked to say the least. Not to downplay the money that has been raised and continues to be so I feel like if there can be a telethon that raises million of dollars for Hati then there should be one for this.

The day after I found out that the whole northern part of the state was without power. Our small town was the closest place to buy gas, supplies and food. It was insane of the amount of people in the town. Then the gas gouging began but a call from the attorney general's office today says that if the increase was not 25% or more it doesn't fall under the law. (That law is bull.) The lines for gas stations went back for about a mile at each station. Then the internet and phones went down for the entire town. All we had was Verizon (who had many towers out) and it was so jammed people just couldn't get through. Without internet and phones credit cards do not work. Who carries cash anymore? I have had a cell phone since I was 16. I can't imagine my life without. I felt like I was on another planet far far away from the rest of the word. I am still amazed at the trickle down effect.

Looters are a huge problem as well. Police officers are working long hours in the dark just to keep the looters out. How can someone do such a horrible thing when all these people have is a pile where their house was? I firmly believe there is a special place in hell for those people.

April 27, 2011 and the months of work ahead will be a memory that I will never be able to forget. These horrible images are forever etched in my brain. But as I have returned to my life at work and at home I feel selfish. Selfish for having a home and a car and place to work. Many people do not have this. Even very insignificant things seem oddly different like taking a sippy cup out of the cabinet. The thought comes to my mind, "how many people don't have homes" "how many lost their babies" and sometimes the tears roll, sometimes I am able to shake it and return back to "normal". Why were we spared an some many people were not?

I feel like I should help. I have all this leftover baby stuff that is a high need. I don't really have money to buy supplies but I can pick up debris and pass out sandwiches. For some reason I feel pulled to Hackelburg. It might be that they were hit so hard or that they are such a small town like where I am from or the fact that they are in need of everything and volunteers. I don't know but I feel like I should be there. I'm trying to work out a baby sitter for AB for the day now. I plan on spending the day there. Part of me is excited about the oportunity and part of me wonders if I can handle it. And at the same time another part of me scolds myself for such a selfish thought. If those people can handle loosing everything including friends and family then I have no room to be complaining.

I plan on posting my experience there but I doubt it will be the same day, maybe not even the same week. I can promise I will be deeply impacted. What kind of person would I be if I wasn't?

I'm over snow

2011-01-13T19:21:00.001-08:00

We got real snow for the first time in 10 years. We get snow from time to time but never over an inch. Up on this mountain I measured 4.5 inches in my front yard. More depending on where it was in the yard. Now you yankees are rolling your eyes but for here that's a whole lot of snow. We don't have plows or snow shovels or any of that. We were stuck at home for 4 days and all the roads were closed. Even now there are some closed. My driveway is a solid sheet of ice. I managed to get out bug had a hard time getting in. I slid and spun and finally gave up and just got out. It probably wouldn't be so bad except it warms up everyday just enough to melt the surface then at night 12 degree weather ensures for inches of ice. You could ice skate on my driveway right now.

My shoes and feet get wet and I hate it. But the plus is sledding is awesome. Tonight me and aidan were doing some griswald kind of sledding we were going so fast his face got windburn. Once we crashed and I slid on my face. Not fun. Today I went to my moms and got my dads real sled and almost flew into the ditch. The sled path is so slick it looks like.glass. the only other time I have ever got to use that sled was 1993 when we actually got several FEET of snow and the power was out and the road in front of my parents house was about 4 inches of solid ice.

What a rush. But I can say that I am officially over the snow and ready for 50 degrees and sun. Its not in a southerns nature to drive in This crap.

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Why dancing with the stars gets on my effin nerves

2010-11-28T20:08:00.001-08:00

1. It's stupid. Nuff said there

2. In case you didn't notice they are not stars. They are has Beens or never was. No respectable star would ever be on such a show. Why? See #1

3. People like it! I don't get it. They are dancing. And are supposedly famous. See # 1 again.

4. The palin girl made it to the end. See #1 and # 2. Seriously. Tell me that wasn't rigged and I'll punch you in the face.

Dance your ass off is much better. It's like the biggest loser and dancing with the stars combined. Still stupid but at least there is a point to it. Fat people dancing to loose weight. What's the point of dwts? Think on that before you answer.

Yeah that's what I thought. There is no point. Wasted tv time.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Random stuff you may not know about me

2010-11-17T19:54:00.001-08:00

I hate mayo. Hate it. No u don't understand. I hate it a whole lot. A WHOLE lot. Ugh

Wes backed into my car the other day and dented the bumper. Nice

I have a freckle between 2 of my toes.

A world without milk duds is no world for me.

I haven't bitten my fingernails in years.

I have an extreme addiction to hand santizer. I loose count how many times a day I use it. Can't help it. Germs are everywhere. I need a bubble.

I don't shake hands if I can help it. See above.

I'm looking forward to Christmas this year probably cause I'm not stressing. Putting my tree up with my new super cheap on sale ornaments.

I have now seen toy story about 900,000,000 times. I know every word. EVERY word.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

I miss my shaggy

2010-11-15T21:32:00.001-08:00

I miss my dog. He ran off the other day when it stormed and started running with some big dogs. He didn't know he wasn't a big dog. I think one of them turned on him. I know he didnt get run over. Bit there is a horrible smell coming from the woods and i feel like that is probably it. I don't want to go up there and check in case it is. I don't want to remember him like that.

I have had him for like 8 years. I can't believe it. I have pretty much decided now he's gone forever.

I love you my shaggy doggie.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

My costume

2010-11-04T19:35:00.001-07:00

My Halloween costume ended up being a baseball player. I spent 4 bucks on socks and that was it.

Guess who won the $100 *thumbs to self*

Yeah that's right bitches. Me! Woot! There's a picture somewhere. One of the girls at work took one.

Aidan was woody. He loves him some toy story. After he finally figured out how to do it he was all about filling his bucket with candy.

I also made a super awesome Halloween cake. What do u think?

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Swag bucks

2010-10-20T20:30:00.001-07:00

You should all join swag bucks here with this link. Then we can be friends. You know u want to.

It's great. I have been doing it for a little while now and have already earned 25 worth of amazon gift cards. I would never promote something that doesnt work so u know it's awesome if it gets the poop seal of approval.

Basically instead of using google as a search engine you use this. Then you earn points. Then you can redeem them for stuff. I'm choosing to get amazon cards so I can buy Aidan something but they have all kinds of stuff. It takes about a week to get your code for amazon but I have already cashed some in so it 100% works.

So sign up (make sure u use my link so we both win) and go to the eArn tab at the top. Start doing those everyday and before long u will be awesome and redeeming prizes.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Wanted... A good cheap costume

2010-10-17T21:36:00.001-07:00

So this year for Halloween I have to dress up. Don't worry I don't want to but the boss said anyone who dresses up names go in a hat and they get to draw for $100. Mainly because no one wanted to.

Way to use my poorness against me. So I am now taking ideas for cheap costumes.

But omg have you priced adult costumes. Holy crap. Plus I have yet to find the non slutty category for costumes. I don't mind so much BUT I do have to wear it to work all day and I do have to take my 2 year old trick or treating.

So what do you think? No masks or something I will be hot in because it's still 80 some odd degrees here. And I really don't want gross either.

I don't know. I did find a saloon girl costume that was surprisingly not really slutty but it was like 45 bucks.

I am thinking of shorts and a baseball shirt with a hat and tall socks and a baseball bat to hit anybody that says shit about my costume. Or all black and be a ninja and do the above only with my feet.

What do u think?

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

The great bubble gum/kitchen fire disaster of 2010

2010-09-22T18:35:00.001-07:00

Is now over and we all made it out alive.

It started out as a normal day. Came home got the wee man settled and super started. Fish in the oven. Rice on the stove. Aidan wanted gum. No big deal he chews it for 2 seconds then throws it away.

So I am working on the rice when Aidan let's out a blood curdling scream and runs out of the bedroom with his bubee gum as he calls it WRAPPED around his neck. Twice. How? I'm not sure. But a thin layer of gum covered all the little hairs on his neck.

Awesome. So I went for the ice and he screamed more. So I decided to throw him in the tub and use an alcohol pad to loosen it up. So I threw the pot to the side of the stove and took the pan out of the oven grabbed his screaming self and took him upstairs.

I spent 30 mins basically scrubbing it off of him because he went into hysterics with the alcohol pad. I got him dried off and back downstairs to get him dressed and see the kitchen FULL of smoke. So Aidan starts screaming again.

I run to the stove and see that during all the screaming I had left the eye one and threw the pot holder on the eye and the glass pan in top of it.

I grabbed the pot holder just about the time it went up in flames. Threw that in the sink turned off the eye and pushed the pan off the eye. While I was over the eye the glass pan breaks. Sounds like a shot gun. Scared the holy shit out of me. Damn near knocked myself out on the hood trying to get away. Luckily that shit didn't shatter or on top of all that I would be at the hospital right now getting shards of glass out of my face.

Oh and during all this the kitchen is full of stinky smoke and Aidan is screaming even louder. And he's naked because I havent gotten him dressed yet.

I finally got all that under control and Aidan dressed. I think he learned his lesson because now if I say bubble gum he says don't want it.

Yeah good times. Good times.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

2nd

2010-09-14T19:12:00.001-07:00

I got 2nd out of 2. I lost. I can't believe it. They cake that won was nothing special just icing and sprinkles. How could this happen?

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Tomorrow

2010-09-13T19:23:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow we are going to take Aidan to the fair for the first time. Last year he was so small that i didn't bother but this year I think he will have a good time. We drove by it today and he saw all the rides and stuff but you know what he was most excited about?

Seeing my cake. He thinks he will get to eat it. Lol I will have to get him a funnel cake to male up for it.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Flowers?

2010-09-11T22:04:00.001-07:00

I got all the flowers made for my cake and started putting it together tonight so I can turn it in tomorrow.

Here's how it turned out...

Oh wait that doesn't look like flowers. Mainly because when I got them laid out it sucked. I got mad and threw them out. But I had already covered the cake in white and had been working on it for 2 hours. That didn't leave many choices and at that point I was so frustrated I just couldn't think straight.

I am so disappointed. I mean don't get me wrong this cake is cute but it's a safe cake. Boring and easy and doesn't show what I can really do. But I don't have time to start over.

So tomorrow I turn it in. I'm not happy with it but we will see. I'll know if it won a ribbon on Tuesday. I've worked too hard not to enter anything.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Nanas lake

2010-09-07T19:06:00.001-07:00

This weekend I took Aidan up to the lake for the first time. He had a blast. Played and got super dirty and swam. But he wasn't having any part of the boat. Be screamed and I had to meet them back at the pier to get him. He wouldn't calm down. I didn't figure he would sleep at all but he did. All night. I don't think he would stay without me. It's too far for me to have to go get him in the middle of the night so I just stayed. It was super nice. Not hot like it has been.

He's already talking about going back to nanas lake as he calls it. Might go back this weekend.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Practice cake

2010-09-02T19:26:00.001-07:00

Not perfect but it turned out pretty good.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

- Alabama State Fair

2010-08-30T11:07:00.000-07:00

In case I forgot... I live in Alabama.... MONKEYS RIDIN DOGS!!!

I can deal with Lots of Stuff

2010-08-27T14:30:00.000-07:00

I really can. I can deal with the weird doctor and all his zen crap but I can't not deal with getting screwed out of money that I just don't have right now.

I went this morning to get popped again. And let me just say that my back has never recovered this quick but he gives me this plan of how much the 12 month recovery is going to cost.

It's 42 visits over a year. Well my insurance only pays for 20 but it's late in the year so in Jan I get 20 more. So really I would only have to pay for 2 which is roughly 120 bucks. My xrays are paid at 100%.

Good deal. I can do that. But after looking at it more closely his insurance total only shows the 600 payment for the xrays. It does not reflect the 20 (which is like 16 now) visits per year. Plus the ones for next year. So I called back after I had time to check with the insurance company to make sure and I actually got to talk to him.

He turned into a jerk all the sudden. He basically acted like I was trying to cheat him out of something when it was completely the other way around. I was super nice and just asked if they could rerun it through the insurance because I think the insurance company made a mistake in what they approved and that they should pay for almost all of it. Then he gets all dicklick and says that he is giving me a 550 discount... well great that means because he is discounting it 550 he can screw me out of 2100 sorry dude not going to happen.

Basically when they file an insurance claim for $60 you pay a co-pay of say $30 the insurance company says well they paid 30 so we will give you $10 and you will like it. The dr has to settle with the insurance company not with the patient.

He was trying to do it the other way. Make me pay the difference. Can I just say that's illegal and I should totally report him. It's double billing. If he didn't like what my insurance pays then he shouldn't take it. I guess all his patients are dumb and just do it. I'm not sure.

I have an appointment next week but no. I'm going somewhere else. Kinda pisses me off that I sat through all the zen/tranquil load of bullshit. Guess I will have to find someone else to rake my zen garden.

Random stuff

2010-08-26T20:30:00.000-07:00

This weekend pending my next chiropractic visit goes as well as I hope I am going to put my practice cake together. I will only have time (and money) for one practice then it's the real deal. Getting nervous. I want to do this idea I have an not do a "safe" one.

Aidan is excited about the fair. We were talking about it tonight and he said he wanted to play rides and go around and around. Maybe he won't freak out. I plan on getting him his very first funnel cake because corated arteries is something you pass down lol. I'm sorry I know it's bad for him but I know how much I love it so I don't see denying him a treat.

Tomorrow is another trip to get my zen garden raked...I love that phrase...he is supposed to let me know about some long term care to line up my hips and all. Basically whether my insurance is going to cover it. If not then I will be forced to do just an injury by injury type care. I'm hoping those fuckers at the insurance company will pay most scratch that pretty much all of it. This was a great idea. I never am able to recover this quickly. I'm a believer in dr fruit loop. I'm getting addicted to the back popping. I feel so much better after it. It's pretty quick too. 20 mins for the whole thing an that includes the shocky therapy.

If my insurance won't pay then I am taking a pic of me shooting them a bird and mailing it to them every day from now on.

Take that insurance bitches.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

I got my Zen Garden Raked

2010-08-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

I went back again to the fruity chiropractor. He cracks me up but he is totally serious. He finally found the right spot in my back. I hurt like a mofo when it popped but when I stood up it was like instant relief. Now the back of my leg is trying to hurt again but I fell 95% better. It was crazy loud when it popped.

On another note, I caused a little stir today when I told everyone at work that he was a "rake your zen garden" kinda of guy. I didn't realize how dirty that sounds so now that's the joke.

Somebody said he should have tshirts made... "I got my zen garden raked at so and so chiropractic." It's great. I'm totally using that for everything now.

I lived

2010-08-24T16:41:00.000-07:00

I made it through my first appointment. And I actually feel a lot better. I was in a while lot of pain but now it's not that bad.

The dr on the other hand was odd. And By odd I mean a total fruit loop. He's a hippy all natural rake your zen garden kind of dude. He looks like a doctor but his personality lacks in my opinion. He's a few crayons short. The office has some nice Chinese type music to help relax you and to "help you find your center". I didn't know my center was lost or that I had a center for that matter. Now don't get me wrong he is super nice but damn.

He helped me with some relaxation techniques and breathing but personally I like to work with other relaxation techniques if you know what I mean.

I got to do the ectroshock pads and hot towels for a while which I wish I had a home. Then he cracked my back several times. A few that hurt. The. He put me on this torture table and strapped my legs down. Then the table separated and tried to pull my body in half. That was to help pull the disk open. He also did something close to massaging my butt cheek to loosen up something or nother.

He showed me around the office and all the different torture chambers all while talking about peace and relaxation. There were oxygen tanks everywhere. This he said was because most people don't get a proper amount of oxygen a d it helps you to relax. Who r these people? Strapping an oxygen mask on me does not make me relax.

This guy should be fun. I go back tomorrow. I'm about to start messing with him. I hope his center is ready.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Back cracker

2010-08-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

Trying out a chiropractor tomorrow. I got to do something. I am miserable. Stretching out my right leg sends a shockwave up my leg into my back. And I am here to tell you that's a bitch. I'll let u know if I live through it. If not. Somebody update my blog.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

A couple of things...

2010-08-22T21:02:00.000-07:00

Today I totally jacked my back up bending over to pick up the boy. I didn't even feel it coming. Wes had to come get him because I couldn't pick him up any higher or put him down. I literally couldn't stand up straight. So I spent the day in bed pretty doped up on pain meds. Finally I got up and went laid in the bathtub and twisted around until it popped. I have found that i am a pretty good self chiropractor It is really the only way i can get it to stop. But I don't know if I really want to go to a professional. I went with my mom one time and hearing the popping made me want to vomit.

now it just hurts in my back not all the way down my legs. That's a bad day peeps. I was going to wear my back brace tomorrow since I will have to sit all day but of course I have no idea where it is.

On another note. I am thinking about getting a piercing since I'm all hardcore now (ha) but I don't know. I'm not sure I can pull that kind of thing off. I'll think on it.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Dear redneck ass neighbor

2010-08-18T22:24:00.000-07:00

If you don't knock it off with the deer/duck or whatever kind of call it is at 12:30 am you might just find yourself blowing it with your ass from now on. Surgeons will have a hard time removing it.

Thanks,

The poop

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

British people are awesome

2010-08-17T19:21:00.000-07:00

Today I was in the elevator in the hospital leaving the dr and this super fat dude asks me for directions. He was British so I was like dude that accent is pretty awesome. He told me he was from a small town south London. And I told him British accents are great and that British people have the coolest phrases that Americans just can't pull off and he said like what?

My personal fav is bloody bastards. He laughed and I asked him to do it and he totally did it.

Made my whole day. I can mark that off my bucket list.

Then he asked for my number... Sorry dude very married and in the back of my mind... And this ride has a weight limit....

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Wait. Where's my ass?

2010-08-16T21:57:00.000-07:00

I think all the weight I have been losing is all going from my ass. Not that it couldn't stand to be smaller but now I can't find jeans that don't do that old man butt sag in the back. I hate that.

I need to let the rest of me catch up. But here's the deal I'm not going to lie. I won't do something like p90x. I see that as a death sentence or I'm pretty sure it's used by other countries to torture people in some sort of Billy Blankenship tybo kinda of way. I'll just be fatness thank you.

I remember in high school when tybo or however you spell it came out and our pe teacher tried to use Billy Blankenship to double time us to death until I finally said eff this and sat down. Yeah I'm a quitter. I don't care.

It's part of my charm.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Practice cake...take 1

2010-08-15T20:12:00.000-07:00

This weekend I decided to do my practice cake. I only have one month to perfect it and I am doing something completely different than my normal stuff. So Friday me and wes made all the gum paste flowers which takes forever but are so awesome. We learned a lot of things that will help for next time and a lot of don't do that's.

So today I made the cakes and left them cooling so I could start the decorating. Aidan decided he wanted some cake and that was the end of that. He reached up and pulled a big handful out of it. No way to fix it.

So I guess I try again later. Who wants to take this kid? You can bring him back when he's 3. I'm over 2.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

IT's Sad When You have to send this Out

2010-08-12T13:35:00.000-07:00

I had to send this out to everyone at work. Of Course The Poop was not the name I put.

Cake of all cakes

2010-08-11T20:02:00.000-07:00

I think this year I am going to go for it. Finally going to pit a cake in the fair. Decorating category. Every year I talk myself out of it because I'm afraid it's not good enough and then I see the one that wins and am mad at myself for not entering mine cause it's so much better.

But this year I am just going to do it and see what happens. At worst I will loose miserably and people will laugh. I can deal with that. Will be going up against a bunch of members of the LOLs (little old lady society) so it won't be easy. Now I just need to find the perfect design and a way to seal it. They require you bring it in something sealed. I have a few weeks so I have time to plan it out.

Wish me luck.

Death by Bleach

2010-08-10T20:19:00.000-07:00

Today the cleaning lady came and mopped the whole office in bleach water. That's a no no. You know people have to breathe and shit.

It was so bad we had to bust open the windows. It also triggered the worst asthma attack I have and in a long time. I for real could not breathe for like an hour.

Some one remind me to punch her in The face next time I see her.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Karmas a Beech

2010-08-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

Some people are sad excuses for people and even worse parents. I would never want my son to grow up knowing that all I cared about in this world was mooching a check and collecting government benefits off them so i didn't have to work which is exactly what my stepson saw first hand from his mother. My son is not leverage.

It crushed him but in a way I'm glad he finally got to see the way she is but in another way no one should ever have to find that out about their parents. I can't even imagine how horrible that must be. What's even worse is I don't think she has a clue. Why should she? She only cares about herself. She basically sold him to us for $200 a month until the other one turns 18. No rights to him whatsoever. Great mom.

I don't know how I should feel about him telling me I am more of a mom to him than his own mother.

Happy? Not really. More sad for him because she basically never talks to him unless she wants something. That's not what a mother is about.

I swear I just want to light into her and tell her what a piece of crap she is and how bad she has hurt him. I am done playing nice. Not that I was that good at it before but I could fake it. Now not so much. She told him she didn't appreciate my attitude but she has no idea. She doesn't deserve respect from anyone but especially from us.

What's also frustrating is that she has managed to poison the other ones mind into hating his father. He only comes here because she makes him. He treats Wes like shit and has no remorse whatsoever. Just like his mother. I am to the point of writing them both off. The only time he comes here willingly is at Christmas so he can get stuff but i have a hard time spending money on a kid that hates us when there are 2 here that want to be here. Besides she gets most of our money so she is able to buy him hdtvs and video games to entertain himself so she doesn't have to deal with him. I can't even buy myself an HDTV.

As you can tell him a little wee bit frustrated with all the bs that is her. All I can say is that no wonder she's been divorced twice and her oldest kid doesn't want anything to do with her.

But I am happy to report that what goes around is finally coming to bite her in the ass. Not as fast as I would like but it is happening. Karma is a bitch people!

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

I Love this guy!

2010-07-07T10:56:00.000-07:00

Seriously?

2010-06-06T20:20:00.001-07:00

I was driving yesterday and no joke I saw an old white herse with flames painted on the front.

That's not the best part though...

It was pulling a trailor with a lawn mower on it.

I tried to get a pic but I never could get close enough because it was seriously hauling ass.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Good day

2010-05-18T19:39:00.001-07:00

Sorry I haven't been in the bloggy mood lately. I have been sickly. The dr finally got my blood pressure down... Way down. I have been so dizzy and tired and sick at my stomach. They dropped some of my doseage but it didn't come back up. So finally she dropped one comepletely. Today I have felt beter but not super.

Because I have been so sick I lost like 30lbs. I have no clothes that fit me. Everything is too big or too small. I put on a pair of jeans the other day I haven't worn in years. That's a good day.

Oh and on another note Aidan pooped in the potty for the first time.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Weeks wrap up

2010-04-30T21:06:00.001-07:00

Today I spent most of the day looking for the punch you in the face button on my keyboard because I swear a wave of stupid washed over the whole town. Conversations lately have been leaving me puzzled. Bottom line people in general are strange.

Tuesday the boss took us to another hot chelle Rae concert. In the limo because we are superstars. If u have never heard this band you should for sure check them on you tube.

I am teaching Aidan to sing satisfaction. So far he has the no no no part down. He's a rock star.

Found out today my massive headache is due to my bp being so high. More tests more drama.

Oh oh I almost forgot. At the concert there was a real live midget right next to us. But after closer observation even in my inbreeated state I could tell I needed to stay away from him. He was feeling up people. I didn't want to have to hit him with a rolled up newspaper. I'm pretty sure midgets hate that.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Let's get it onnnn...

2010-04-25T13:25:00.001-07:00

Today I was sitting on my porch minding my own biz and I look over and see....

Yeah that's right. 2 lizards doing the humpty hump right beside me.

Gross

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Random post

2010-04-14T19:06:00.001-07:00

The kid is asleep already. That never happens. Must have played hard today. His daycare is closed on Friday for one day of spring break so we are going to hang out.

Right now i am watching Rick and bubba on hanady and colmbs. Www.rickandbubba.com. They are pretty funny although I'm not huge on their political ideas. Hilarious though.

I had a rough day. Glad it's over.

I love that support the tea party movement are called teabaggers. That is awesome. More awesome than I can describe. Lol love it.

Wes is working on becoming a master ford certified tech. Going to take forever. There are so many tests. I have been sitting watching. I even knew a couple of questions.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Shout out

2010-04-07T21:06:00.001-07:00

I would just like to give a whoot whoot to Aidan for kicking me in the mouth tonight and busting my lip open.

It was bad too bled forever. I seriously thought I was going to have to go to the hospital. But I think I will live. Fat lip and all.

I told him he gave momma a bad boo boo and he hugged me and patted my back so of course I had to forgive him.

How could u not?

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

The Video

2010-03-31T14:37:00.000-07:00

Enjoy!

Michael Jackson is not dead!!!

2010-03-29T17:07:00.001-07:00

He's alive and well in Alabama. Moon walking and grabbing his crotch at the bp station.

He had a sign that said impersonator for hire.

It was the greatest day of my life.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPod touch cause I'm cool like that.

Original pic

2010-03-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

This is the pic he used.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPhone cause I'm cool like that.

I did it

2010-03-15T19:05:00.000-07:00

First of all I came off 3 bucks and bought an app to make blogging easier.

2ndly I got my tattoo on my butt cheek.

Ok it's not my butt cheek. It's my shoulder. I think it turned out great. Looks just like his pillow.

It hurt. I won't lie. But I love it. It looks floppy just like his pillow. He drew it up from a pic I took.

- The Poop Posted this using BlogPress from my iPhone cause I'm cool like that.

I Caught a Troll!!

2010-03-05T11:48:00.001-08:00

My brother told me this story and it's too good not to share. I am inclined to believe it because it's too funny not to be true.

So this guy he is friends with knows this lady that has a mentally challenged brother. He lives in an apartment down the street from their house. He doesn't drive or anything but he can keep up his house. So she tells him her and her husband are going to be gone for 3 days and they would call and check on him. So they get on the road and are gone for a little while and they get a call from him freaking out… "OMG OMG You have to come home!! I caught a troll. I caught a troll." They tried to calm him down but he kept insisting that he caught a troll. So finally they had to turn around and go back. When they get there they see a huge stack of furniture piled in front of a door just like in a movie. So they start pulling at it getting it all down and they hear a voice screaming, "Let me out. Let me out!"

When they get the door open inside is…..

A MIDGET JEHOVA WITNESS!!!

And he is mad as hell. He demands to call the cops, the whole time she is trying to calm him down. The cop comes and laughs so hard he can't even write the report. After the midget gets his head together he decides not to press charges.

The whole time that man is screaming … I TOLD YOU I caught a troll!!!

Hey How's it Goin

2010-03-02T14:13:00.000-08:00

Wow it has been forever. But you know kids and stuff happen.

So what's been happening?

Aidan's birthday part is Sunday and we are in full blow party mode. I can't even believe he is going to be 2!

In my lack of bloggy updates I still managed to get picked as one of Trina's Fav Bloggers. Yeah stand close to me maybe my awesomeness will rub off on you.

Wes changed jobs to a dealership that is right across from where I work. We can ride together now.

My stepson had a wreck. Some lady rammed into him when he was trying to turn. effed her car up!

Tomorrow the boss is closing the place up early and taking us to a concert in TN. He is even trying to arrange for us to ride the 3 hours up there and back in a limo. Yeah he totally rocks it like that.

I have decided I'm going to get a tattoo. Yep me. The big wiener. I'm going to do it. I'm going to get Aidan's infamous pink pillow with his name in. I didn't want to go get something gay like a flower or a fairy or something stupid. This is something that actually means something to me.

And a bag of chips

2010-01-22T20:35:00.000-08:00

I had a doctors apointment today and had to wait forever in the waiting room. This office has 10 docs and 8 practioners. So the waiting room is always full. I managed to find an unprotected wifi signal so I could tweet and keep myself entertained. I had my ear buds in but the music was low enough I could hear when they called my name. There was an old lady sitting by me talking and she at one point said and I quote "you know she thinks she's all that and a bag of chips. I had to get up and go to the bathroom because I was laughing so hard.

Then some lady starting trying to give me gross details about her surgery so I just kept inching up the volume until I couldn't hear her. I mean really I don't want to know.

When I finally got back there I found out I had lost 3 more pounds and my a1c for my diabetes was perfect. That had never happened.... So I celebrated witha cheeseburger for dinner because that's how I roll.

My Bp was a little high still so they changed my meds but the kicker is the one they changed is the one that helps my body keep my potassium level up since my body is stupid and won't do it on it's own. So I have to go back next week and get tested for that. The kicker is that I maybe without insurance for 3 months if wes gets another job Because there is no way I can pay the cobra for 3 months....0so I told her I wouldn't be back for a while and she said in 6 weeks if I didn't have insurance she would see me for free to make sure I'm ok. How awesome is that? That's why I drive out of the way to go there. How many drs would do that?

Now if I could find Aidan a dr that was half as good we'd be set.

What's that smokey taste

2010-01-16T18:34:00.000-08:00

so I had a party to go to tonight so I got Aidan ready and took him. I told my step sons to watch the fire place and the pot of dry beans on the stove. Now they are not little 1 is 17 and the other is 14. But niether act it but I didn't think this would be an issue.

I was wrong. I got home and opened the door and was met with a horrible smelland smoke. The beans are now smoke flavored and plastered to the bottom of the pan and are now mush.

It seems that one didn't know to add water when it cooks down the other didn't know when to turn them off so instead of calling me they just burned the holy shit out of them. Nice. So now we eat hotdogs.

I blame this on thier mother for letting them sit in front of the tv and video games their whole life and never taught them anything.

Hi Lana. I hear u read now. Yay

Hey I'm a deer

2010-01-11T20:30:00.000-08:00

I had to go back to the office this afternoon because I had left my beloved iPod on my desk and feared a mental breakdown if I didn't go back for it. There was a good bit of traffic but in the headlights of a car I could see a dog laying in the grass of the median. I got a little closer and I could see it was one big a dog. Even closer it dawned on me that it wasn't a dog at all it was a deer. Alive just sitting there looking around. like hey what's up I'm a deer. Just hanging out. Didn't look scaird or anything. My brother said it probably had gotten hit and laid down but it wasn't in some weird position or anything or was just laying there like normal only in an abnormal place.

On another note Aidan has decided he's sometimes a baby. He reaches for me to pick himup and says baaabee (baby) and I pick him up and hold him like a baby and he says awww. And I say awe look at the baby. And he says awww. Pretty cute stuff.

It's coming

2010-01-06T18:49:00.000-08:00

the snow should be here in the morning. About 9 my favorite weatherman says. Suppose to ice up the roads. Me and Wes both have to work tomorrow until the roads start getting bad. Aidan is out of daycare. Got a babysitter till lunch.

They don't even sell snow shovels here. But it's ok. Plenty of groceries and firewood. Having Wes get batties and we should be good. Happy snow day.

2010-01-03T19:33:00.000-08:00

I finally figured out why my head has been throbbing for the past week. It's my brain trying to explode from episode after episode of sponge bob. Over and over.

Whatever was troubling the wee one must be over because he has been very good this week. We have had the best time together just hanging out.

Seriously I have the worst headache. I don't know why but it's bad.

Billing is tomorrow and it's Monday. Should be interesting. Days like that never end well.

I've got some new pics of the boy to post when I get a chance.

I was awesome and stimulated the local economy by buying a new car in Jan so the government screws me by saying u only get a write off if u bought it after feb 17. Figures. Effers

it's cold here. Bad. It's not supposed to be above freezing for a week and before you Yankees get all over me. We are not used to snow. Until recently it never snowed here. Here it's 2 lane mt roads curvey. We don't have snow plows or salt trucks or even snow shovels so when it snows we can't go anywhere until it melts. It's different snow too. When it starts to melt then we get icy roads and sludge. I hate it. Snows for the north not the south. People here freak out like it's going to be the end of the world. Supposed to start late in the week.

Brought to you by the letter I for my new iPod which I love more everyday.

Acting up

2009-12-29T16:43:00.000-08:00

I just found out how to blog from my iPod. Maybe now I can make time for it. Something is wrong with the kid I don't know what but he is really acting out. I don't think it's terrible 2s. I think it's something else but I don't know. He's killing me.

Toys and Tempers

2009-12-28T17:58:00.000-08:00

Christmas came and went and left a ton of toys all over my house.

My mom got Aidan a Lil' Linoel train set. He loves it. He sits and watches it and rolls on the track. It's a little annoying listening to it as you can't turn the sound off but I learned if you put it speaker down then it's not too bad.

I got me some Ipod touch and I'm in love. I have been downloading apps checking my facebook, listening to music constantly. I got a great accessory kit for it. I love it. I'm a nerd like that.

I don't know what happened to this kid during christmas he turned mean all the sudden. Throwing stuff and hitting. He has spent tons of time in timeout and got spankings. Doesn't do any good though. He doesn't care.

Now that the New Year is right around the corner it's time to start Bday planning. We are doing an elmo (Bo Bo as he calls him) cake. I was going to do a Thomas cake but really it was going to be a lot of work mixing all the colors. Elmo is red and I'm lazy.

December--The Rundown

2009-12-21T12:04:00.000-08:00

Christmas is a hectic time.

I have done all the baking. All the shopping. All the wrapping. Now all I have to do is wait on Santa's jolly fattiness to show up and bring Aidan toys.

This year is pretty tight. Luckily wes got a side job right before christmas that gave me gift money and I pushed a car payment back or I don't know what we would have done.

Friday night we had our company Christmas party. It was pretty awesome. The boss took us out to a super nice restaurant. I'm so poor I didn't even know this place existed. Had a great time.

And a story I'm not supposed to tell but I can't help it. I mean if you would have seen it you would have died.

Someone at work walked all the way up front with about 3 foot of TP hanging out of their pants. That was the greatest day of my life.

Pink Glove Dance

2009-12-05T19:55:00.001-08:00

I think this video is pretty sweet. The old man janitor that is shown about 2 times is my fav.

Updates

2009-11-30T13:12:00.000-08:00

So I had the MRI and it showed that I had a pinched nerve in my back. No joke. So they increased my pain meds which I didn't do because I wouldn't be able to get out of the bed. And on the 17 th I go to a neurosurgeon to see what he says. I just want a pain block good grief.

I ordered me some on sale jeans from old navy. A Size smaller. I don't know how but I keep loosing weight. I know it's not cause I'm trying but I'm not complaining.

We got our decorations up outside. This year we went all grizwald. I can almost hear the power meter turning.

Today was the first day Aidan didn't cry when I dropped him off at day care. Maybe he's getting used to it. He had his pillow and his sleep mat.

Turns out my letter to the old day care did get somewhere. My mom talked to some lady that works in the office of the church and she was asking her and she said she passed it to the preacher who called the board members and said we need to take care of this now! I think there was an ass chewing. I am still waiting on details from that.

MRI and stuff

2009-11-23T19:37:00.000-08:00

It looks like Aidan has another ear infection. We are up to one a week now. This is getting old. I really think it hasn't gone away. I think it just keeps coming back. I'm calling and pitching a fit and get him in to see the ent again.

I had my mri this morning. I went in doped up with the meds the dr gave me and the attitude that I wasn't going to be afraid. So what did I do? Cried like a little wiener. Yeah. I can't help it. It's such a small place. OMG. I don't think it's the small place it's more that I could be trapped in there. But I made it. Hoping to know more by thanksgiving.

We are going to bring fingerfoods to work on Wednesday. And I was giving the bosses wife a hard time because last year she brought store bought sausage balls. I was like you have to bring homemade goodies. She said they're weren't any left last year. I said taht's because they were good but they were missing something.

She was like what?

The love man. The love.

I should have Spanked them when I had the chance

2009-11-19T21:04:00.000-08:00

Really. I should have sued six flags when I had the chance. My seat belt came off a few years ago and that's how I originally hurt my back. Off and on it hurts but the other morning I got up and stretched and it was like a nuclear bomb exploded in my back. Pain shot from my back down my right leg and it's like it stuck in the back of my leg. I can actually feel where the nerve is going down my leg. I instantly thought I was going to throw up. I felt paralized. Not that I actually was but the pain was so intense I couldn't move.

So that day I tried to tough it out and not be a weiner but it didn't make it long before I called the dr. She was nice enough to call me in some meds that was supposed to take the inflammation out from around that nerve. It didn't even phase it so after the weekend I called back and they asked me to come in. By the time I got to the dr I could barely sit or stand.

So she loaded me up on a bunch of pain meds. Which is great and they help but I made the mistake of taking one during the day and I felt like I was in a fog all day. It got so bad that I had to take a nap during my lunch hour and almost went home but decided that driving probably wasn't the best idea so I just toughed it out. So needless to say I won't be taking anymore of that during the day time.

She also ordered me another dreaded MRI. I begged for an open one but she said she doesn't like those because the pictures don't do as well. I could feel a panic attack building. I told her no I would just deal. I swear I have never panicked like that except when they shoved me in that tube for an hour. So this time she prescribed me a vicitan to take an hour before so that I probably wouldn't be awake and if I was I wouldn't care. Suites me. The MRI is monday. Still not looking forward to it. Here's the deal on the last one I had.

Right now it doesn't hurt too bad. But I took some meds about 2 hours ago so that's probably why. From the MRI she is going to decide if she can get me set up for blocks or with a surgen. All I can say for surgery is that the odds better be damn good of it helping or I'm not doing it. Like with wes' neck surgery the told him he would have immediate relief iwth my back about 3 years ago they only gave me a 65% chance. That wasn't good enough so I opted not to. I'm only 26 years old. I don't see doing it for only a 65% chance.

We shall see.

Me so Random

2009-11-11T19:22:00.000-08:00

I really don't have anything important to say BUT that's never stopped me before so here I go..

I need to make sure I don't sit with my knees bent up under my chair so much. I think my calf muscle is shrinking. It hurts when I straighten it out.

Wes has been sitting in the same spot for like 2 hours playing video games. His mouth is open and I think there might be drool. He's worse than the kids.

Our kitchen area at work has become a huge lady bug orgy. I swear those little bastards are everywhere doing the humpty hump all over the place. I called the pest control people and they said they couldn't spray for asian lady bugs. I told them I am pretty sure they are american but still no go. So tomorrow I think they will get sucked up with the vacuum.

Aidan has ANOTHER EAR INFECTION.. can you believe that crap? Another one. It's nasty too since he has the tubes and it drains out. Ugh. Calling the dr tomorrow. Again. I'm about ready to kick that guy in the nuts.

Trying to get things arranged for our Christmas card pic. It's going to take a while to get it right so I think we need to start in the next couple of weeks. No hints though. You'll have to wait until it's ready.

There is a new thrift store in town. I'm excited. I love me some thrift store.

If you are not following me on twitter you're missing out beeches.

Random Facts

2009-11-07T18:28:00.000-08:00

I finally decided since I am paying for my sat radio in my car that I should listen to it more. They have added a bunch of new channels.

Aidan is totally addicted to sponge bob. It's the only double word he knows.

Oreo is asleep with his head propped up on the side of the chair. I would take a pic but the ahole that washes my car stole it.

I want the new Droid phone like OMG bad. So anyone wants to buy me a christmas present... send it c/o "My broke ass can't afford it and I'm not up for my phone upgrade until 12/10/10."

I am putting up christmas decorations the weekend before thanksgiving so it will be decorated when people come over for thanksgiving.

I have a great Idea for a christmas card this year if aidan will cooperate. More on that in a few days. Have to find a camera.

According to my son there are 2 kinds of people in the world.... momma and not momma
He knows I'm momma and then he points at everyone else and says momma and shakes his head no.

Halloween

2009-11-01T17:30:00.000-08:00

Halloween for us went awesome. Aidan was thomas the train. He did great. He wore his costume all night and most of today. I have a feeling he will be wearing it a lot. He loves it.

He got to ride in his wagon to go trick or treating. I think that for him was part of the thrill. He walked up to all the doors and knocked and held out his bucket. He did great.

I have pics but since my camera got stolen I have to wait for my mom to email them to me.

Let's Talk for a Minute

2009-10-28T19:02:00.000-07:00

About pants.

There is a right way to wear jeans and a wrong way. Lately I have seen way too much wrong way so as a public service I will clarify the right and wrong way.

I do not want to see your butt crack. Ever. Man or woman. I do not want to see crack. Just don't and if you have a hairy crack... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST DON'T. If you would buy bigger pants that actually fit around your gut then they would not sag. You may thing you wear a 34 but your actual waist is a 40.

If you are fat don't wear low rise jeans. This is the wrong way. Muffin tops are very uncool.

Jeans should cover the laces on your shoes AT LEAST to middle of the laces... even when you sit. Anything less than that is the wrong way. If you are wearing heals, your jeans should go down to the heel just above the ground. Anything less is the wrong way. Anything more is going to get you a twisted ankle. I see people wearing jeans and when they walk I can see ankle. I shouldn't be able to see ankle. If you want to show off your ankles, wear shorts.

Lastly, Capri pants are gay. I'm sorry but they are. And man-pris are even worse. They make you look like a midget. Just don't.

If you are guilty of any of the above, please save yourself while you can before anyone else notices and buy new pants.

funny stuff

2009-10-27T15:36:00.001-07:00

Have you ever seen this show? It's funny as hell. Not that they die but they way they tell the stories is funny. I mean come on any show that tells about a dude that kills himself by using an enema full of wine... but instead they said he used a butt cocktail of wine from mr squishy.

Come on.. that's good tv

Why... why...

2009-10-17T19:21:00.000-07:00

Why does this always happen to me? I mean I'm not social. I never talk to people I don't know. I'm not unfriendly when people talk to me but I'm not one of those people who just walk up and talk to random people. It's just not how I roll.

So let me just tell you..

I was just minding my own beez wax at the grocery store. Standing back by the bread. And I hear... "Well hey there!" I turn around and see some random older lady in a fucked up old lady hat. This is the conversation that ensues.. Anything in parentheses is what I was thinking but not saying.

Me: Hey. How are you. (turns back around)

Crazy lady: What are you buying?

Me: (what the fuck lady) Groceries. We were just about out of everything and it was about that time. (turns back around)

Crazy lady: Oh I see you are getting corn dogs.

Me: (what? why?) Yeah I have a 19 month old and that's pretty much all he eats.

crazy lady: Oh. You shouldn't give your baby corn dogs.

Me: (what? I swear to god) ....

crazy lady: Because he can get choked. The hot dog can get stuck in his throat and cut off his air supply and before you know it you're kid's retarded.

Me: (WTF?) what!!

crazy lady: I used to be a nurse I have seen it. And you are a mom you should know this.

Me: (pissed off now) Look lady. Give me a break. Thank you for your concern but you don't have to worry about what I feed my kid.

Me: (walking off) What the fuck just happened?

I swear I don't bring this on myself. I don't. I don't talk to anyone. I don't look friendly. I don't act it. I don't know why these people treat me like that person that sits next to forrest gump.

And at dinner Aidan choked on a little piece of chicken and my step son yells help him before he gets retarded. So that's the new joke now. I still can't believe it.

Dude

2009-10-13T19:26:00.001-07:00

This place is getting dusty. I haven't blogged in a while. Hell I have been busy. Work is busy now which is good. Aidan never sits down and by the time he goes to bed I am a whooped ass.

So let me give you some random factoids.

I just tried wheat ritz crackers and I like them. They are better than the regular ones.

I have about 20 slugs on my porch right now. It's like a weird twilight zone episode. They keep getting closer to the door.

The kid seems to be digging the new day care. This morning he barely cried. Mostly whined a little then waved.

There are some words you can't add -eness to and not sound funny.

Aidan's ear tubes is going to cost me 900 bucks. That's what the insurance company didn't pay. I say get in line bitches.

I like the new Michael Jackson song.

Dude that washed my car stole my camera now I can't take pictures. Damnit

Too poor to buy a new camera now.

This video makes me want to vomit and laugh all at the same time. Go ahead and watch you know you want to.

You Know what I hate

2009-10-05T18:49:00.000-07:00

Insurance salesmen. I do. My insurance agent I have had since like 2002. I like him. He's not an insurance salesmen. He's a good guy. Really. He has helped me out a lot. When I see him he's not automatically trying to sell me something. A few times he "lost my check" when I was broke ass and couldn't pay it. I really like him. Well he quit the insurance company that he has been with for like 15 years because when the company sold it turned to shit. Well that was 2 months ago. He called and told me but the company he was with... never did. Until today when they sent the fat guy out to collect. This dude looked like, acted like, talked like and smelled like a used car salesman. All he needed was some plaid.

I didn't like him. He didn't even know my name. He forgot it from the truck up to my porch. Yeah so I told him no like a 100 times and he wouldn't take the hint so I didn't pay him. I sent him packing. I think I am going to switch companies to the one my agent went to. I think it's worth it.

I also hate aidan's old day care. I really am glad I took him out of there. This new place is so much better. Run like a school. Today was his first day at the new place. They said he did really good. The old place was still kissing my mom's ass when she went down there today to find his clothes they didn't send back. That outfit disappeared. effers.

Scared

2009-10-01T16:45:00.000-07:00

The day care is scared now. Must be because this morning when I dropped him off they offered to pay for the medical bill if the insurance didn't cover it all. Mainly because there is a form that must be completed and turned into dhr within 24 hours of the injury and I can almost promise it wasn't done but they will find out about it when I send them the letter.

I also have written a letter that will be sent to the board of directors of the day care. Very professional. It won't matter one bit but I want them to know the exact reason that I am taking him out of that day care.

He starts the new day care on monday because I had to get an updated blue slip which is his shot records. This state requires it. It's so great. I love it. It's run like a school. And for 2 bucks a week less he gets 2 meals a day where at this one they will give him breakfast if I bring it. They have cameras and everything. I think we both are really going to like it. as much as a daycare can be liked I guess.

That's It! i'm done...

2009-09-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

With Aidan's day care. For real this time. I can deal with the pillow but I can't deal iwth the injuries and lack of communication.

I try not to be "that" mom and bitch about everything but I have made it clear I want to be notified when he gets hurt. Obviously I didn't really make it clear what hurt ment. I define hurt as any blood other than a scrape and any head injury blood or not.

Today I go to pick him up and his teacher says to me very first thing... I tried to call you but she didn't want me to. I'm like WTF? He fell and hit his mouth hard enough that he looks like he has been punched in the mouth. His lip is swollen and had been bleeding and his tooth appears to be loose and out of place. AND THEY DIDN'T CALL. He went several hours with no tylenol or anything becasue they didn't call me. I work 2 mins from the place. I can be there in 1 min if I have to be. Tomorrow I have to take him to a pediatric denist to make sure his tooth isn't going to fall out. He came home today and went straight to bed.

I chewed some MAJOR day care ass today. Let me tell you. I can almost assure you at this point I will get a call anytime he gets a minor scrape. But I still am going to pull him out of that day care. I am currently writting a letter to the board of directors to complain. Not that it will do any good but I want them to know the exact reason I am moving him. I told them that if there is a meeting of both his teachers and both directors on whether or not to call me then it means they should call me.

Fuck that shit. I am going this week to get him enrolled somewhere else. I am not sending him to a place that wants to cover their ass at the expense of my child.

It's Thomas!

2009-09-27T18:42:00.000-07:00

Friday my mom ended up working so she couldn't watch Aidan. Still didn't get rid of all the kids. But it was ok he went to bed early. He stayed with her last night and I went to bed at 9. I wish I could go to bed at 9 every night. I think I am getting old.

I think Aidan is going to be Thomas for Halloween. I tried on his lobster costume from last year. He was not amused. He loves him so thomas the train so I think I will get him that. It's cheap too. I'm loving cheap.

My step son asked me why we were doing ok while the economy was in the shitter and now that's it's getting better why are we broke.... good question.

Dancing

2009-09-23T18:40:00.000-07:00

Friday night my mom is keeping aidan. Getting rid of all these kids in my house. A whole night with no kids. Ahhh. Like I told my stepson on Friday you don't live here. Go somewhere else. How did I get all these kids anyways... I'm ready for a night where I can just sit and do nothing. Aidan is constantly running. His new thing is getting on the kitchen table and dancing in the middle until someone gets him. He loves to dance.

I would have pics of it but the A hole that washes my car stole my effn camera... at one of the poorest times. Great.

Updates

2009-09-22T17:23:00.000-07:00

Admit it. You missed me.

Aidan is much better. He's made a full recovery. except for the coughing. He's still doing that. He goes Friday for his check up. I found that I am have pneumonia. Nice. Living off an inhaler. I really don't feel bad just coughing.

Kid is having a hard time with day care. He just started back this week and they told me tomorrow he can't bring his pillow. It's not going to be a good day. He is so upset he wouldn't even take a bath without screaming and pointing at it. I hate doing that to him.

Other than that we have been hanging out doing our thing. Nothing exciting or bad. Just how we roll.

Spelling Bee champion... Not

2009-09-17T15:33:00.000-07:00

My brain is off when it comes to spelling. I can read just fine and I can tell you when a word is misspelled but I can't spell out loud. I have to write it down first. I don't know why but that's the way I have always been. Even easy words. It's like my brain doesn't process it until I see it. So the margin on my notepad is full of random words from me spelling a word when someone asked me.

As you could guess spelling bee's weren't my thing. I crapped out by about the 3rd person. It's weird too because my mom is like the human dictionary.

I hope Aidan doesn't pick up on those...

Also I just got the schedule for Aidan's day care for this year. they are out of day care for tons of holidays that I don't get like Veteran's Day. Besides the government, who is off for Veteran's Day? Good Friday. Not off then either. And get this... A whole week for the 4th of July. Damn. What am I going to do with him for a whole week?

AnyBody Catholic?

2009-09-14T16:00:00.000-07:00

Did I tell you about the crucifix? The sales dude at work... the one I have been trying to find a date... yeah him. He sent gave me a crucifix that he had had blessed by a priest at the monastery not too far from here.

Now I'm not catholic and really know very little about it so I did some research. It seems that you can give away a blessing. And it seems that people try to sell these blessings on ebay. And it seems that people try to buy them. According to what I read as well as common sense ... you can't do that. You can only purchase the actually material cross and the blessing becomes lost. Lost where I don't know but lost.

It's a pretty cool thing I will put up for Aidan. Like I said I'm not Catholic so I don't really know what you do with. I'm not sure what the rules are but I think it will be something cool to show him when he gets older. I've been keeping it in my purse.

The Surgery

2009-09-11T18:50:00.000-07:00

Last night I was so nervous I barely slept. I kept waking up. Aidan slept all night until I had to wake him up at 4.30 to drag him to the hospital with pappy and pink pillow in hand. I figured he would go to sleep in the car but he didn't. He stayed awake the whole time and was so excited at the hospital because it's a kids hospital so everything is geared toward them. He played in the tree house with another kid named Aidan until they called his name.

He was not into them messing with him. Something about that oxygen meter on his finger freaked him out. He survived and got a sticker for his trouble. I had to strip him and put him in a butt gown. Did you know they made butt hanging out gowns for kids that small? I didn't.

We talked to a whole host of anesthesiologists and nurses and he finally fell asleep just as they came to take him back. They told me I could carry him back to the door if I wanted but I opted to let them just carry him because I knew he would scream bloody murder if I had to hand them to him and walk away. He whined a little and then the nurse said he was going to get balloons and stickers and he never looked back. they let him go to sleep with his pillow which i'm sure made him feel better. Gave it back when he woke up.

They had to completely sedate him with a breathing tube because he might have to have his tonsils out. After about 45 mins the doctor came in and said everything went well. He put in the tubes took out the adenoids and left the tonsils. He gave me care instructions and ear drops and answered my questions and left. After about another hour they brought my big man back. He was a pitiful little baby not the big man that went back there. He wanted his mommy and his pappy and pink pillow and he wasn't going to let me go. Wes snuck out to the gift shop and bought him a sponge bob doll. He loves it.

He finally started coming around and drank some juice and they checked him several times while we watched tv and at about noon we were able to take him home. He was excited to get to ride in the wagons. They have wagons you can pull them around in with all their stuff. It's nice too cause you don't have to carry them. Plus the front lobby has a revolving door that we had to go in and out of like a dozen times.

He fell asleep on the ride home and came home and ate 5 whole chicken fingers. He was starving. Then he played trains a little. He is soooooo into trains right now. Then he was ready for his nap. He slept pretty much all day. I had to wake him up when my parents came to see him. Mom brought him some sponge bob jammies that we put on him after his bath. that kid is in sponge bob heaven right about now.

Tonight he has been so good. Laughing and playing. still looks kinda pale but you can tell he's already feeling better. He is going to stay at my mom's one more week before heading back to day care. Tomorrow we are going to have a day to play together without him being sick. I'm excited.

Tomorrow is the Day

2009-09-10T18:50:00.000-07:00

Aidan's surgery is tomorrow. Have to be up at 4 to get there at 6. Ugh. Luckily he went to bed pretty early today.

If he doesn't have to have his tonsils out then he will get to go home tomorrow with just tubes in his ears. If he has the tonsils out then he has to be in overnight. I don't really think he's going to have to have them out because he's a lot better than he was. Tuesday when he went back to the dr. his ears were still infected but his throat looked pretty good.

I will update twitter when he's out.

I have a mo fo of a headache and have to be up at 4 so I am going to bed. See you beeches later. Hopefully after this I will be back to my normal blogging self. I miss it.

Answers

2009-09-03T18:41:00.001-07:00

Well finally!

A real answer. Aidan is sick.

Someone actually believed me. You can look at him and tell but his dr didn't really do anything. This ent couldn't believe he was so sick and only 18 months. He's so sick he might have to be hospitalized if his fever doesn't come down.

he had a hearing test today and didn't hear everything. They are going to recheck him after he gets his tubes next friday. He will also have to have his adnoids and tonsills out. His whole head is infected basically. Hopefully his hearing will be 100% then.

What pisses me off is that this was avoidable. He should have had tubes put in at 8 months. Now he has to be put under complete anesthesia to have all this done and be in the hospital over night.

He does have to go back to his dr tomorrow to get his other antibiotic shot. It's given in 2 to 3 doses. Plus the antibiotics he's already on. He is trying to get the infection down enough that the fever will stop. I'm going to be all like hey bitch what's the deal?

effer

Pardon My Absence

2009-09-02T18:30:00.000-07:00

I've been a bad blogger. But the kid is STILL SICK! a month later we are right back where we started with this shit.

4 rounds of antibiotics
2 rashes from allergic reactions
6 drs visits
1 er visit
An unmeasurable amount of snot
countless nights of sleeplessness
huge box of tissues
Bottle of tylenol
bottle of motrin
vicks strips for the vaporizer

And tomorrow is a pediatric ent. I have had it. I finally just went around his dr and made the appointment. Obviously his dr can't help him. He's going to wind up with pneumonia if he doesn't have it already. Hopefully this guy can help us out.

Hopefully I will be back to my normal bloggy self soon. I miss my beeches.

Where in the World is the Poop?

2009-08-24T15:32:00.000-07:00

Lately my whole lot of nothing has been getting in the way of my blogging. I would like to say that I have been so busy doing all this cool stuff but not really. Aidan is STILL sick. Today was dr appointment #3 and a new antibiotic that no one keeps in stock. He's the crusty snotty nose kid.

Friday my ac unit stopped up because a rat that I have been trying to catch made a nest in it and water ran out everywhere. 3 good things came out of it... 1 my carpets got a good cleaning cause I had to rent the machine anyway 2. The ac coil got a good cleaning. It was nasty and 3 the water ran the rat out and he got stuck to a sticky trap. Little bastard.

I bought a network extender for my house so that I can use our cells here since we are in a "dead zone". It was effing expensive but it works great pending the internet connection stays up. I called today to cut off the regular phone. They said they would and didn't so it's still working. The phone company pissed me off when they said they were going to replace my line since it was all staticy and then said they wouldn't and there was nothing wrong with it so I just cut it off.

Work has been a bitch lately. All the sudden our network quit and it was kinda down hill from there. We got behind and have been struggling to catch up. I like it better when we aren't behind. I'm hoping a couple more days of busting the hump will do it.

Sadly that sums up my entire week. You didn't miss much.

And on to Top Sites Tuesday on a Monday...

What games did you play as a kid?

I don't know if it's considered a game or not but I played barbies. Yeah beeches barbie. My barbie had it all. That bitch was rich.

But if that doesn't count... me and my brother played wake the other up with a wedgie and run like hell a lot. It's pretty self explanatory. You should try it.

Come Join Top Sites Tuesday and be #1 on BlogDumps!
The purpose of this Meme is to encourage
Networking between bloggers to have fun while doing it!
Make sure to visit all the other participants and leave comments.

Favorite Quotes

2009-08-17T20:02:00.000-07:00

Today on Top sites Tuesday is your favorite quote. And I'm sure there will be some mushy ones but as you know that's not how I roll. Instead here's a few I live by...

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

So there you have it. You know the drill. Click the button beeches.

Come Join Top Sites Tuesday and be #1 on BlogDumps!
The purpose of this Meme is to encourage
Networking between bloggers to have fun while doing it!
Make sure to visit all the other participants and leave comments.

"Slap Chop Rap"

2009-08-16T20:09:00.001-07:00

Gotta Love this

This is my life

2009-08-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

Why does all the weird shit happen to me? Why? I'm semi normal. Ok not really but I don't bother anyone. I keep to myself. I don't get it.

1st of all I log on to pay my house payment just like I always do. And when I log in it says your account is restricted. I almost threw up. I freaked out until I realized, Hey wait. I'm not behind on any payments or anything. this is not me. So I call the phone number and I get a busy signal. What! A major company has a busy signal. No way. So later I called my mom and she went by our mortgage broker and they said that our mortgage company went under. Holy shit. So the broker said to mail in my payment with a check and make sure I keep good records so I can prove I made my payments while my loan is being sold. Selling loans happen all the time but you never really know it till it's over. Damn.

2ndly. You know that wreck I saw the other day. Turns out the wormy white dude was a friend of my brothers and he was telling him about it and my brother was like yeah my sister was right there. She saw the whole thing. So the dude calls me and asks me what I saw and he was like finally I found someone that actually saw what happened. Because the woman that was standing up on the car frailing her arms was really trying to beat him up and her mom was conveniently sitting across the street and "saw the whole thing". Now they are harassing him. I mean the insurance is paying for it all but now that woman had to go to the hospital and all that and they are threating to hurt him personally. Dude is going to fight it back and asked if I would help and I was like sure. I will give any notarized statement or police statement but I refuse to appear in court because of the kid. I can defend myself if need be but I can't protect us both and I don't see putting him in a situation that could be dangerous. Now I feel really bad for this guy. He seems really nice and well spoken and having a terrible week. So stay tuned for this. I see this going on for a while.

Where is your Emergency

2009-08-13T18:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday there was a wreck right next to me. Here's my 911 call...

Operator: 911 where is your emergency

Me: In front of the phone company

Operator: How many cars?

Me: 2. Rear ender

Operator: Any injuries?

Me: Not yet.

Operator: Excuse me?

Me: Well there weren't any from the wreck but if someone doesn't get down here pretty quick this extremely large black woman is going to beat the hell out of this wormy white dude.

Operator: *laughing* ok we'll get someone out.

Me: Yeah she's pissed. Waving her arms and cursing up a storm. I'm not staying but I'll report it.

Operator: *laughing* Ok thanks. I'll send the out.

Me after I hung up: THAT. WAS. AWESOME.

This almost was too close to my firecrotch. If one of them would have had the wheel cut a little they would have crashed into me and I would have been killed by the big black lady.

Top Sites Tuesday... on MOnday

2009-08-10T12:04:00.000-07:00

I'm going to go ahead and do this because I am pretty sure I will miss it if I don't. So this week on Blog Dumps is blog about 3 things. Seems easy enough although when put on the spot I don't know.

First of all... I just watched on TMZ where there is this chick that claims to be legally married to MJ and is the mother of his kids. Although she had no documentation to prove it. It was great. The media was giving her hell about it. She claims that MJ took one of her kids and gave it to TOm Crusie. WTF? A punch or 2 would have made it an episode of Jerry Springer. Awesome. TMZ says... "In related news, unicorns are real." So I guess I should go ahead and come clean so I can join the I want MJs money clan and say... Me and MJ flew to mars and had a marian baby and named it ... Gary Busey. Now where's my check bitches?

2nd... The kid is feeling better although he is not at 100% yet. He had a bad bad head cold. So bad he was running a super high fever and even had that gooey crap coming out of his tear ducts. My tshirt has become a snot rag. He grabbed my shirt and wiped his nose with it. Nice.

3rd...Since I am at home with the kid today I have found what my cats do all day while I am gone. Nothing. Not a thing. These 3 effers haven't moved all damn day. Itty bitty is asleep on the arm of the couch, Oreo is asleep in the bathroom sink, and baby is asleep in the window seal... with her paws covering her face. Yeah it's a hard life but I guess someone has to do it.

There you have it... 3 things. Now click my button (that sounds dirty hee hee) and go see wolfman and trina over at the dump. (I love saying "the dump" hee hee)

Come Join Top Sites Tuesday and be #1 on BlogDumps!
The purpose of this Meme is to encourage
Networking between bloggers to have fun while doing it!
Make sure to visit all the other participants and leave comments.

Later beeches

What's that Smell?

2009-08-08T22:42:00.000-07:00

I bet you thought this was going to be about farts huh? Well not this time. I'm too tired for fart jokes tonight.

This particular smell is tied to an array of emotions and I think it's the only smell that makes me want to cry every time I smell it but at the same time I want to smell it each time.

Soap.

But not just any soap. It the soap you find in the dispensers at every sink in a hospital. That soap takes me back to Aidan in the hospital for those 3 weeks, attached to every wire and tube you could think of. And each time I entered the room I had to wash my hands just to enter the room.

Tonight I had to take him to the hospital to the er because of his horrible cold and high fever and there by the sink was the soap. As soon as I washed my hands it all came flooding back. Is that something that I will ever get over. I dont think so. I mean there is a certain amount of guilt that goes along with know you couldn't carry your baby long enough to keep them from having to go through that. It's crazy because at the same time you know there is nothing that you could have done but it's still there.

He's fine now. Tonight they gave him meds and sent him home to recover from the cold this week but it seemed all to familiar.

And hours later I can still kinda smell it.

Conversations

2009-08-06T19:42:00.000-07:00

The other day Terri posted some random conversations that went on at her work. The kind that an office full of women can only produce. Keep in mind that there are 3 women all related...

Topics include:

Why do we have butt cracks? and why they go up and down vs side to side

Wiener adjustments

Old people sex

So there you have it. And whats even more awesome than that is that one dude in our office always walks in during the worst parts totally unaware of the rest of the conversation. And is like What tha...

That's the best part.

Long Time no See

2009-08-04T21:06:00.000-07:00

Yeah I know I haven't been around much. And I know that all the fans* of the poop are wondering what the deal is.

Well I am working on getting this book done for the kid. And I am almost done. Just 4 more pages to go. Hopefully I will be finished by tomorrow night. I may post a few pages.

Also I had to turn the word verification on because I am getting slammed with span comments.

*Would fans of the poop be called Poopanites, Poopinators, Poopsters, Poopians. I don't know. Maybe just you beeches.

Mixed Reviews

2009-07-28T20:08:00.001-07:00

I am getting some mixed reviews about day care. The first day I dropped him off he was happy and waved to all the kids and seemed ok. He gave me a kiss and knuckles and waved bye. THis morning he didn't cry mainly because he was distracted by breakfast. Yesterday they said he had a good day. But today they said he didn't have a good day. He cried off and on all day. He wouldn't eat in the cool chairs, he wouldn't let them feed him and refused to do anything without his pillow. When I picked him up if someone tried to take that pillow from him I swear they would have pulled back a nub. He was not letting it go.

Plus today some girl pushed him. She moved up to the next class today. Anyway she pushed him and he grabbed her hair and pulled her to the ground. They were impressed that he knew how to defend himself. Not that they let them fight but that he knew how to make her stop because he has never been around anyone that is mean to him before.

I feel so bad. He is so upset. Every thing he has ever known is turned upside down. They say it usually takes about 2 weeks for them to adjust and get to where they are into the routine. It is even affecting his sleeping. He was sleeping really good in his big boy bed but now i have had to move him back to his crib and he is back to waking up all night crying.

I know this is a good idea but I still hate it.

Day Care

2009-07-23T16:09:00.000-07:00

Aidan starts day care on Monday. I kinda want him to go to be able to hang out with some other kids but I kinda don't. He seems to be ok with it though. We have been there 2 times getting everything set up and filling out paperwork. We let him go back in the room he will be in with the other kids and he jumped right in and started playing and cried because we made him leave. He wanted to stay. I guess that's a good sign.

He's going to get decent lunches ever day and it is very clean there. Which is a big deal to me. They keep a log of their diapers so you can see how often they are being changed. They even have these little exercise videos that they do. Basically dancing. Too sweet.They have a table that is basically a high chair for like 6 kids. It's pretty cool. THey said it's because a kid turned over a regular high chair not too long ago.

He will be in a group of 10 kids but 3 are moving up to the new level in a couple of weeks.

They do have this requirement that pisses me off. He has to have this special mat that is like a sleeping bag only open and has a pillow attached to it. HOly shit they are expensive as hell. Just so happens that at work we got an LTD book that had one for 7.95. That beats the 50 bucks I have been seeing them for online. I mean they sleep on cots why can't they have a regular cheap blanket?

The one other thing I don't like is they won't let him have his pillow or pappy even for naps. The pappy isn't a big deal he won't really notice it till naps but the pillow goes with him EVERYWHERE. They say its a safety issue. He can drop it and a kid can fall. I see that but at naps? What will that hurt. They said he can have it only at naps for a couple of weeks till he gets settled but after that no. I don't think that's right. He will get it as soon as he gets to the car. I don't see taking that away from him. It's his comfort thing.

I got news for this day care... This is on your way...

He is going to be the coolest kid there. Giving knuckles to all the kids.

PS I just sold the bunk bed I had for sale in the same paper that I was looking for the sales dude a date.

We just acquired a new cat. I guess. It wandered up and won't leave. It hangs outside hollaring all the time. You can pet it though. I guess we are naming it hook because something happened to it's tail and it's shorter than a normal cat tail and it has a hook at the end like it got broken or something. Shaggy is not amused by him. He doesn't want him having any food or attention.

Awesome Cool

2009-07-21T16:39:00.000-07:00

I had a whole blog planned out but that will have to wait something cool happened on the way home.

I was driving down my road.... AKA the Drag track (you would think the way people drive) and I see a black truck pull off the side of the road and a big box in the middle of the road. Looked like it blew out of his truck. Then behind him was a white truck that pulled over and jumped out to grab the box out of the middle of the road and then me who stopped to keep the lane blocked where he could get across. About the time the white truck dude gets to the box the black truck starts backing up and randomly just flips 3 times into the ditch.

Me and the white truck dude just stared at each other for a split second like what just happened. I mean the black truck dude wasn't even going 5 miles and hour. He jumps in his truck and drives up there. I pull over and call 911. Then the black truck guy, his wife, and 2 kids climb out. He had this look like ... Fuck!

Then about the time I get off the phone with 911 a cop car randomly drives by and I stop him (the black truck was in a big ditch you couldn't see it from the road)

It. WAS. AWESOME. I have never seen a car move so slow just flip like that.

so for tomorrow's blog... the wienermobile extravaganza!

The Poop's Been Dumped On

2009-07-18T16:58:00.000-07:00

Wolf and trina over at Blog dumps posted my review. I love me some blog dumps. I remember back in the day when blog dumps was just a baby blog and not the empire that it is today. Wolf who is actually Wolfbernz which is hard to remember so I just call him wolf. But then again wolfman is easier than that. Wolfman it is. There was a point in all that somewhere. I forget.

Wolfman and trina have been friends of the poop for a while now and you should be a friend of them too because any friend of the poop has got to be cool right?

I got to tell you this blog has been around for a while and this is who I am. Anyone that knows me can tell you that. I blog the way I talk and I blog about things I would normally talk about.

I really am the coolest person you know :)

Go visit Blog dumps and read the review.

Goings On

2009-07-15T16:41:00.000-07:00

I'm still sick. Getting better but still sick. I'm not getting to rest so it's not helping. Kid is still snotty but getting better.

I just realized I am constantly surround by poo and not just the bullshit I have to put it out of people all the time but stinky poo. There's baby poo, 3 cats worth of poo. and a stepson and a husband. why do men poo and fart so much. I'm tired of poo.

This weekend I am going back to the thrift store to get some window frames. The old ones. I want to get 2 and make a headboard for my bed. I have a cool idea. I hope it works.

The cable company changed the channel for sponge bob. YOu cant go messing with sponge bob. It should be a crime.

shaggy got his drains out but the staples have to stay in until Weds. Then he should be good. He is getting spoiled on being inside in the ac with my stepson. He goes out and walks and pees then he wants right back in where its cool.

because of you beeches this blog has was #1 on top sites tuesday. Wolf is going to do a review. Good luck with that wolf.

later beeches

Top Sites Tuesday

2009-07-13T17:15:00.000-07:00

So today is blog about 2 things. Doesn't matter what. Then you click my button and I win a blog feature. Do it beeches. I don't feel good. It will make my day.

2 things. hmmmm

Well first of all we have been playing baby hockey around the living room. With this...

Yeahbaby refuses to give up the box and me and the stepson have been pushing the box back and forth and she just lays there. Doesn't even try to get up. She has also taken up with Aidan's car...

She's old and lazy... lazier than she used to be. She doesn't even run anymore when Aidan gets after her. Just lays there and hollers while he lays on her and squeezes.

2ndly..

Mini me headbutted me right in the mouth today. I lip is still swollen. And you know what? He did it on purpose cause I wouldn't do what he wanted. As if I didn't feel bad enough Now I look like i have been beaten up. Nice. It's pretty sore too.

So there's my 2. Now go click my box Beeches and go see Blog dumps. Wolf's a great guy.

Come Join Top Sites Tuesday and be #1 on BlogDumps!
The purpose of this Meme is to encourage
Networking between bloggers to have fun while doing it!
Make sure to visit all the other participants and leave comments.

This week

2009-07-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

Man I haven't blogged much lately. Between the dog getting hurt and the kid getting sick I have had my hands full. Shaggy is looking better. He goes back to the vet to get his drain and staples out. Aidan goes to the dr tomorrow because he has been sick since thursday. I couldnt get him in until tomorrow. He's super snotty whiney kid. Poor kid. He feels bad.

The kids brought their wii and I have been getting my wii on while aidan naps. I think though I am starting to get wii tennis elbow/shoulder.

Shaggy's Home!

2009-07-07T19:31:00.000-07:00

But he looks absolutely pitiful. He has 20 something staples and 2 drains that when I first saw them looked like bones sticking out and I got all freaked. He goes back on the 13 to have it all removed. He has a bunch of meds and stuff to take. He is bunking with the stepson until he is better. He doesn't need to roam around. Should be about a month.

When I saw the cut I thought he might have gotten caught on a fence or something but 2 people asked me if someone had did it to him. My god I didn't even think of that. Surely not. What kind of sick fucker would do that to a sweet little dog. God help the person if I ever find out that they did.

Here's his boo boos. Warning. It's disgusting.

He's Ok

2009-07-05T20:39:00.000-07:00

I finally got back to sleep this morning about 6 and then got back up at 7.30 and wes helped me get shaggy in the car and I drove him to the vet. With the windows down because he STUNK... no He STANK.

He was happy he was getting to ride in the fire crotch and seemed like his old self just with a huge gash. He knew where we were and didn't want to get out of the car. I got him inside and the vet said that it was a BAD cut that looked to be about 24 hours old. Which fit the time frame of how long he was gone. He said that smell was not him being dirty it was the smell of rotting tissue. Gross take that with your morning cherrios. I couldn't believe that it got infected that quick. I mean we called the vet as soon as we found him. He also said what I said that it looks like he got caught in a fence or something. Vet said that he needed to keep him overnight so that first thing on Monday they could put him under and cut out all the dead tissue and infection and that it probably wouldn't be able to be stitched up. So we will have to keep him inside for a long time until it heals. . This presents the problem of what to do with him. I think we are going to let him stay out in the stepson's room.

I was going to take a pic of it but it was too gross. I could barely stand to look at it. I hated to ask but I wanted a rough estimate of how poor I was going to be after all this. Not that it mattered because either way I can't just leave him like that. He said about 150 and if they can put drains in and stitch it up which is unlikely then about 300. I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Looks like I will be making payments.

He is going to call me about lunch and let me know how he is doing and if he can go home tomorrow. He seems to think that he will be able to.

Aidan stayed with my mom some today so I could sleep. Good thing too cause it's 11 and this kid is not going to bed any time soon.

The Case of the MIssing Dog

2009-07-05T02:39:00.000-07:00

Shaggy has been missing all day. We called and called him and he never came. Very unlike him.

So at 4 am I wake up to go pee pee and my damn smoking habit dictates that if I wake up randomly I have to go smoke. Sometimes I can fight it but most of the time I give in like tonight. But tonight it turned out to be a good thing.

I called shaggy to see if he would show up this time and sure enough he come slowly walking up the steps. Very unlike him too. He usually is hopping and jumping wanting you to throw his ball. But not this time so I pet him on the head to let him to know I was glad he was back and he yelped out in pain. I stepped inside to turn on the light to see if he maybe got his ear chewed on by another dog and all I see is dried blood down his side and then I see the MOTHER OF ALL CUTS about 3 inches behind his collar. At that point I ran inside to get wes up. When wes came out he said to call the vet. So at 4 am I call the vets office to get the emergency number and find out that the vet is the one that sees the cats so I know he's a good vet. He tells me since he is alert and awake to do some basic first aid sinces the blood is dried and bring him in at 8. I appologized profusely for waking him at 4 am and he said oh don't worry I was about to get up anyway. You did the right thing. I thought what a liar but at least he was nice.

At that point wes gets all sickly and says he's about to puke and is sweating and all that so I have to stop and get him crackers and check his blood sugar. I finally get him situated and find all the cats and lock them in upstairs bathroom so they won't attack him when I bring him in.

Then I go back outside and actually get a good look at the cut. It's a clean cut not like a dog bite. It looks like he might have gotten caught in a fence. It goes from one shoulder to the other and is about 3 inches deep. Keep in mind that he is a really small dog. I got him to eat and managed to luer him in with a hotdog. After a bunch of bribery and 3 hotdogs I managed to get him into the small bathroom and as soon as wes recovered to help me we got his food and water and the cut full of neosporen. I wanted wes in case he tried to bite me. He would never bite anyone but when a dog is hurt that is the only way they know how to get you to stop messing with it. But he didn't.

Aidan managed to sleep through the whole thing. thank god.

And he stinks. BAD. BAD. Like something dead. I don't know what he has been in but damn. I turned the fart fan on in the bathroom so I won't barf when I go to get him out. Wes is going to stay with Aidan and I am going to take him to the vet. I have no idea how much this is going to cost but I can't just leave him like that. Power bill may have to wait. The vet said he may can stitch it up.

It's 5 am and I should be sleeping but now I am awake. My 4 am was eventful. How was yours?

Yummy!

2009-07-03T15:57:00.000-07:00

Last night I made some awesome chicken and I thought I would share...

3 Chicken breasts cut into strips
Red pepper flakes
parsley
garlic
olive oil

Cook the chicken a skillet on very low heat with a little olive oil until done and slightly brown

In a sauce pan add about 3TBS olive oil, parsley, garlic, and red pepper flakes. I didn't measure. I just added and tasted until the garlic was just right and the pepper wasn't too hot. Simmer until you can smell all the flavors and pour over chicken.

You know what's awesome

2009-07-02T20:05:00.000-07:00

When your baby boy who is looking more and more like a little mini kid crawls up in bed with you with a book and his pink pillow and lays his head on your chest so you can read books.

Yeah that's awesome. I love it.

BILLY MAYS HERE & and other stuff

2009-06-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

Man I am going to miss... BILLY MAYS HERE!

That is crazy. So this week if you are hugh heffner or william shapner you are getting a little worried now for real.

In other news...

I uploaded some new pics of Aidan if you are in the mood for some baby cuteness.

I get to be off on Friday which is great. Me and the kid are going to the thrift store again to rack up and he is getting another hair cut. He is going to be a once a monther. His hair grows so fast.

Saturday we went over to my pawpaws to tear down an old falling down barn. There was stuff in that thing that was there when they moved into that house in 1977. Me and my bro were never allowed to play in it because my granny always said it was going to fall. We found out that it would probably have stood another 10 years. Basically after pulling down the support posts and it still not falling the tractor just ran over it. I have never been so hot before. The humitity was at a miserable 110% in the blazing sun. After several hours of being out in it, I felt like I was going to pass out so I left. This bitch sits behind a desk all day and is not cut out for real work.

Also this weekend we called the bosses resturant and asked his son if they sold wieners. It's funny. It embarrases him.

Next time I am going to ask him if I can get nuts on my wiener.

What tha?

2009-06-25T15:56:00.000-07:00

It's crazy. Celebrity deaths. Ed Mcmahon didn't affect me much. I remember watching star search. But he was old and it didn't really surprise me. Then Farrah. She was sick for a long time. That one didn't surprise me much. But then MJ...

Holy shit! That is fucking crazy. I can't believe it. It's one of those things where you will remember where u were if you are my age. I told someone he is the elvis of our time. I mean he was weird and fucked up but his music made history. He was the "king of pop". I thought for sure Liz taylor would go before him.

I feel like I should moon walk and grab my crotch just because. Even though I haven't done that in years they were playing Thriller and it made me want to. His music is all over the tv again just like back in the day.

I will have to pile Aidan up in front of the tv and let him watch Thriller so he will at least hear it. I guess ringo will end up with the beetles rights now huh.

It makes me feel weird. I don't know why but it does. Crazy.

My Life Is an after school special

2009-06-23T12:48:00.001-07:00

Today I learned an important lesson. That lesson is if you don't pay your phone bill... they will cut that shit off. The bad thing is I have had the check written for about a week but kept forgetting to actually drop it off. Yeah that's how I roll. They did wave the reconnect fee for me.

Some Stuff I am thinking about

2009-06-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

I need to have a yard sale. I have so much junk. It's good junk though. Stuff I don't want to just throw out. But the idea of having to deal with it all makes me want to just say fuck it.

The kids mom bought them a video game where you pick up hookers and then they fuck. Yeah no. I gave that one to her today and told her it doesn't come back here. What the hell is wrong with her?

I want a wii. I think I may be able to work it out here next month. Maybe. I hope. If not then I am pimping wes out so I can get me one. Wes and the stepson say they don't want it.... so it's all MINE!! I will be getting my wii on all by myself.

I went to the evil walmart to buy diapers and found that they made the box smaller but not the price. I am paying the same price for 10 less diapers. Fuckers.

I made wes' bday cake yesterday. I still have to take a pic of it. It has a car on it jacked up with tools and a tool box on it. He loved it. I even put a mini beer bottle and cigarette on the tool box just the way he keeps it at home. It has wheels and rims and car parts all over it. His birthday is tomorrow.

Next weekend my uncles are coming down to help tear down the falling down ass shed at my paw paws. I guess I will go over and sweat a while and come home. Mom wants me to make a cake for everyone. She told them if they come help then she would have lunch for everyone. I think my dad is bbqing. It has been so hot it's not even funny. The humity is a bitch.

I actually got a good nap in today. Aidan took a 3 hour nap so I took one too. And I still managed to do like 5 loads of laundry and fold them. Yeah I rock. The rest of the house looks like shit but hey I got a nap.

Wes worked out in the yard today and got "a little sun" when I looked at his back he looks like a lobster. I was like shit that isn't a little sun! It is going to hurt like a mo fo tomorrow.

2 people I went to school with are "dating" now so I found out on facebook. IT's like a weirdo convention. I'm a little freaked out. Ok ok a lot.

I think when I get paid I am going to take a trip to the thrift store again and see if I can find aidan some more clothes. He is about to move up to the next size. The clothes there are like brand new. I bought me a tshirt for 99 cents and it looks new. I love that store. The only thing is that wes doesn't work right down the street anymore so if I find something big I want I have to find a way to get it home. His friend works close so maybe he can come get stuff. The stepson wants me to take him to look for some clothes since he saw what I bought aidan and how good of shape it's in. I liek that store cause there isn't pee pee couches and stuff in it. IT's nice and neat and clean and organized and the money goes to one of my favorite places... Jimmy hale mission. They do some good work in Bham.

My back meds are kicking in and I am getting more random than usual. Going to bed. Later beeches.

PS follow me on twitter. You'll be glad you did.